Thursday, 2 October 2008
last letter from tobias
h?
The Hauser Institute
Researching forgetfulness, recollection and identity loss
May 20th 2008
My dear friends,
How is it cracking?
To be honest, and I want to be honest with you, things have not been cracking here very well at all. In fact I believe I may be cracking up. Squawk squawk!
Anyway where to begin...
Well-thank you. Thank you for your extraordinary support. It has been a very strange, sad time for me these last few weeks and I....well your stories have been more important than you can possibly imagine.
Last Friday when we skyped each other I realised that the game was up. In fact I realised that it had all been a strange, comforting but dangerous game. Re reading your questions to me and Beny I decided that I must tell you everything.
Twelve years ago this April just gone, when you were just coming into the world, someone very important to me was taken away. My wife. My pregnant wife.
She was a brilliant archeologist and we had shared a life together in Birmingham not far from where you are sitting now reading this message. Anyway, and this has been so hard to write about in the last week or so with events in China and Burma being what they are: She died on a trip to Ecuador twelve years ago. She died and with her, it seemed, so did my future.
For years I wondered how I could forget about what might have been. Then I began to dream of the boy who might have lived, who he might have been, what he would have been like. The more I dreamed, the more real he became.
Reading your wonderful messages teeming with ideas, jokes and enthusiasm I realised that the memory of the boy who could never be was becoming too painful. I have watched the pictures of the earthquakes day and night and seen how this pain is is shared by thousands of others.
I can see now what his life would have been like, what his friends might have been like and how he might have sounded. In some ways he seems more real to me now thanks to you...
I hope you will forgive me and that we will still meet some time so that I can thank you and hear how I can say goodbye to the boy forever.
thanks again
Tobias
The Hauser Institute
Researching forgetfulness, recollection and identity loss
May 20th 2008
My dear friends,
How is it cracking?
To be honest, and I want to be honest with you, things have not been cracking here very well at all. In fact I believe I may be cracking up. Squawk squawk!
Anyway where to begin...
Well-thank you. Thank you for your extraordinary support. It has been a very strange, sad time for me these last few weeks and I....well your stories have been more important than you can possibly imagine.
Last Friday when we skyped each other I realised that the game was up. In fact I realised that it had all been a strange, comforting but dangerous game. Re reading your questions to me and Beny I decided that I must tell you everything.
Twelve years ago this April just gone, when you were just coming into the world, someone very important to me was taken away. My wife. My pregnant wife.
She was a brilliant archeologist and we had shared a life together in Birmingham not far from where you are sitting now reading this message. Anyway, and this has been so hard to write about in the last week or so with events in China and Burma being what they are: She died on a trip to Ecuador twelve years ago. She died and with her, it seemed, so did my future.
For years I wondered how I could forget about what might have been. Then I began to dream of the boy who might have lived, who he might have been, what he would have been like. The more I dreamed, the more real he became.
Reading your wonderful messages teeming with ideas, jokes and enthusiasm I realised that the memory of the boy who could never be was becoming too painful. I have watched the pictures of the earthquakes day and night and seen how this pain is is shared by thousands of others.
I can see now what his life would have been like, what his friends might have been like and how he might have sounded. In some ways he seems more real to me now thanks to you...
I hope you will forgive me and that we will still meet some time so that I can thank you and hear how I can say goodbye to the boy forever.
thanks again
Tobias
Wednesday, 1 October 2008
skype call between queensbridge and beny & tobias
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 11:51
Is Tobias free?
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 11:52
Hello i think so brenda here
16/05/2008 11:52
one moment...
16/05/2008 11:52
A ha Is that my friends and colleagues at Queensbridge. Tobias here
16/05/2008 11:53
And Brenda obviously...
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 11:53
hi im fahad
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 11:53
hi Fahad wassup
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 11:53
hi wassup
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 11:54
Now you had a question fahad?
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 11:54
my question is how did the boy come to no about what happened 2 your wife b4 u actually told him
16/05/2008 11:55
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 11:55
What do you know of my wife? ! !
16/05/2008 11:55
I'm going to ask Brenda to leave the room.
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 11:55
nothing its on the blog
16/05/2008 11:56
are you having an affair with brenda
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 11:56
boy listens to the mutterings
16/05/2008 11:57
I'm a little embarased, but no. No we're not, definitely not. Definitely.
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 11:58
sorry about fahad #this is faisal and i would like to know if the boy really exists
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 11:58
Sorry about the film. Beny Lotsanames was a little shy today.
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 11:58
why did you add it on the blog
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 11:59
Faisal the boy writes to you doesn't he?
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 11:59
how do we know if it is the boy
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 11:59
Who else could it be?
16/05/2008 12:00
Do you have more top tips for him, Queensbridge Colleagues?
16/05/2008 12:01
Shall I go and get Beny and see if he'll write?
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:01
dont worry about those two. They dont know much. Hi its isaac and my question is are you sure you and brenda can handle the boy. Not to be offensive but you are a little odd at times
16/05/2008 12:01
yes
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:01
16/05/2008 12:01
To be Frank the boy is hard to control. Very hard. I'll go and get him.
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:02
ok. good luck
16/05/2008 12:02
tick tock
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:02
He's been eating all morning. just learned to eat with a knife and fork
16/05/2008 12:03
what's crackin ??????
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:03
what does he like to eat by the way my name be george
16/05/2008 12:03
who is this
16/05/2008 12:03
?
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:03
hi george nachos is cooooooooooooooooooooooooool
16/05/2008 12:03
Beny
16/05/2008 12:04
And me
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:04
ye how come you can talk properly now
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:04
wot do u eat george?
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:04
food
16/05/2008 12:04
beans
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:04
Thank you I been practising
16/05/2008 12:05
broad beans?
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:05
practicing what and y can you play ukilali miaow
16/05/2008 12:05
have u got a passport
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:05
ukilali miaow? i carnt play that!
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:05
my name is boikidman
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:06
boikidman hiya
16/05/2008 12:06
you ok?
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:06
how did u get across the border with a name like lostanames
16/05/2008 12:06
lotsanames*
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:06
Beny doesn't yet have a passport. There was nothing like that in the house or basement that I could find.
16/05/2008 12:07
What border?
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:07
how did he get to italy did u put him in the baggage
16/05/2008 12:07
???
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:07
ever heard of a day passport? whatever mate
16/05/2008 12:08
squawksquawk
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:08
who is joe?? (by joe)
16/05/2008 12:08
(answer!0
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:08
who IS jo?
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:08
i dont know u wrote about him
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:08
um er
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:08
in your first letter to us
16/05/2008 12:08
lemon
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:08
don't get bitter!
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:09
im not
16/05/2008 12:09
what happened to joe then??
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:09
all my wurdz that day came from the paper
16/05/2008 12:09
ItS a jOkE!
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:09
whos joe?#how do ou know joe?
16/05/2008 12:09
oh ok well why didnt u say that
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:10
there was a newspaper in the room i copied words practicing
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:10
okey dokey
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:10
so you ARE joe?
16/05/2008 12:10
my friend
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:10
passing you on to someone else now... yeah
16/05/2008 12:10
hi its jordan
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:10
yeah whatever mate see you
16/05/2008 12:10
hi Jordan
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:10
wait
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:10
waiting
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:11
do you have msn??
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:11
BenY has gone to the loo.
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:11
ok hi tobiass
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:11
No just this
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:12
im a bit suspicious we all want to meet you or see you on a video
16/05/2008 12:12
a propper one this time
16/05/2008 12:12
and beny
16/05/2008 12:13
beny seems to be very musical!
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:13
I think I explained that Beny is very shy and we are cautious about introducing him to the outside world. I am very keen to meet you though.
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:13
ok fair enuff
16/05/2008 12:14
can you possibly make it to birmingham b4 we break up next week?
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:14
I believe he must have spent much of his time alone practising the instruments.
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:15
he seems very talented does he wan to join mine and georges band ?]
16/05/2008 12:15
lool
16/05/2008 12:15
jokes
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:15
I am very busy with my researches and Beny occupies a lot of my mind space but let me see what I cando. Brenda is caling me for lunch. Ah here is Beny again.
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:15
bleep!
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:15
what is a cheerleaders favourite food??
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:15
we have to go sorry mate
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:15
cheerios! we must go soon
16/05/2008 12:16
wassupppp queensbridgers
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:16
end of lesson defo try make to qb on friday period 3 thanx
16/05/2008 12:16
11.25
16/05/2008 12:16
cya buddys
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:16
Beny is very keen to see you but he has a lot on my mind.
16/05/2008 12:16
YO!
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:16
on your mind
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:17
What? Oh yes er sorry what can I have been thinking?
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:17
goodbye
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:17
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee scudapin bleeep
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:18
all the kids have now gone to their next lesson - good job!!
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:18
went well!
16/05/2008 12:19
They seem appropriately suspicious
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:19
yeah
16/05/2008 11:51
Is Tobias free?
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 11:52
Hello i think so brenda here
16/05/2008 11:52
one moment...
16/05/2008 11:52
A ha Is that my friends and colleagues at Queensbridge. Tobias here
16/05/2008 11:53
And Brenda obviously...
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 11:53
hi im fahad
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 11:53
hi Fahad wassup
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 11:53
hi wassup
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 11:54
Now you had a question fahad?
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 11:54
my question is how did the boy come to no about what happened 2 your wife b4 u actually told him
16/05/2008 11:55
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 11:55
What do you know of my wife? ! !
16/05/2008 11:55
I'm going to ask Brenda to leave the room.
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 11:55
nothing its on the blog
16/05/2008 11:56
are you having an affair with brenda
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 11:56
boy listens to the mutterings
16/05/2008 11:57
I'm a little embarased, but no. No we're not, definitely not. Definitely.
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 11:58
sorry about fahad #this is faisal and i would like to know if the boy really exists
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 11:58
Sorry about the film. Beny Lotsanames was a little shy today.
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 11:58
why did you add it on the blog
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 11:59
Faisal the boy writes to you doesn't he?
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 11:59
how do we know if it is the boy
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 11:59
Who else could it be?
16/05/2008 12:00
Do you have more top tips for him, Queensbridge Colleagues?
16/05/2008 12:01
Shall I go and get Beny and see if he'll write?
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:01
dont worry about those two. They dont know much. Hi its isaac and my question is are you sure you and brenda can handle the boy. Not to be offensive but you are a little odd at times
16/05/2008 12:01
yes
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:01
16/05/2008 12:01
To be Frank the boy is hard to control. Very hard. I'll go and get him.
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:02
ok. good luck
16/05/2008 12:02
tick tock
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:02
He's been eating all morning. just learned to eat with a knife and fork
16/05/2008 12:03
what's crackin ??????
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:03
what does he like to eat by the way my name be george
16/05/2008 12:03
who is this
16/05/2008 12:03
?
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:03
hi george nachos is cooooooooooooooooooooooooool
16/05/2008 12:03
Beny
16/05/2008 12:04
And me
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:04
ye how come you can talk properly now
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:04
wot do u eat george?
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:04
food
16/05/2008 12:04
beans
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:04
Thank you I been practising
16/05/2008 12:05
broad beans?
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:05
practicing what and y can you play ukilali miaow
16/05/2008 12:05
have u got a passport
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:05
ukilali miaow? i carnt play that!
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:05
my name is boikidman
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:06
boikidman hiya
16/05/2008 12:06
you ok?
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:06
how did u get across the border with a name like lostanames
16/05/2008 12:06
lotsanames*
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:06
Beny doesn't yet have a passport. There was nothing like that in the house or basement that I could find.
16/05/2008 12:07
What border?
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:07
how did he get to italy did u put him in the baggage
16/05/2008 12:07
???
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:07
ever heard of a day passport? whatever mate
16/05/2008 12:08
squawksquawk
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:08
who is joe?? (by joe)
16/05/2008 12:08
(answer!0
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:08
who IS jo?
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:08
i dont know u wrote about him
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:08
um er
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:08
in your first letter to us
16/05/2008 12:08
lemon
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:08
don't get bitter!
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:09
im not
16/05/2008 12:09
what happened to joe then??
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:09
all my wurdz that day came from the paper
16/05/2008 12:09
ItS a jOkE!
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:09
whos joe?#how do ou know joe?
16/05/2008 12:09
oh ok well why didnt u say that
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:10
there was a newspaper in the room i copied words practicing
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:10
okey dokey
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:10
so you ARE joe?
16/05/2008 12:10
my friend
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:10
passing you on to someone else now... yeah
16/05/2008 12:10
hi its jordan
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:10
yeah whatever mate see you
16/05/2008 12:10
hi Jordan
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:10
wait
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:10
waiting
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:11
do you have msn??
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:11
BenY has gone to the loo.
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:11
ok hi tobiass
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:11
No just this
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:12
im a bit suspicious we all want to meet you or see you on a video
16/05/2008 12:12
a propper one this time
16/05/2008 12:12
and beny
16/05/2008 12:13
beny seems to be very musical!
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:13
I think I explained that Beny is very shy and we are cautious about introducing him to the outside world. I am very keen to meet you though.
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:13
ok fair enuff
16/05/2008 12:14
can you possibly make it to birmingham b4 we break up next week?
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:14
I believe he must have spent much of his time alone practising the instruments.
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:15
he seems very talented does he wan to join mine and georges band ?]
16/05/2008 12:15
lool
16/05/2008 12:15
jokes
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:15
I am very busy with my researches and Beny occupies a lot of my mind space but let me see what I cando. Brenda is caling me for lunch. Ah here is Beny again.
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:15
bleep!
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:15
what is a cheerleaders favourite food??
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:15
we have to go sorry mate
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:15
cheerios! we must go soon
16/05/2008 12:16
wassupppp queensbridgers
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:16
end of lesson defo try make to qb on friday period 3 thanx
16/05/2008 12:16
11.25
16/05/2008 12:16
cya buddys
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:16
Beny is very keen to see you but he has a lot on my mind.
16/05/2008 12:16
YO!
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:16
on your mind
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:17
What? Oh yes er sorry what can I have been thinking?
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:17
goodbye
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:17
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee scudapin bleeep
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:18
all the kids have now gone to their next lesson - good job!!
hauserinstitute
16/05/2008 12:18
went well!
16/05/2008 12:19
They seem appropriately suspicious
Queensbridge School
16/05/2008 12:19
yeah
Tuesday, 20 May 2008
Friday, 16 May 2008
A Message from Beny
Heyyyy hiya dudes thanks so much for all your stories.. it¹s so exciting - I have memories now thanks to your stories and attitude and cool words to say and websites and books and movies to look at - I¹m twelve growing up - my name is Beny Lotsanames... but friends I have to tell you, I'm beginning to have my suspicions ...
Tobias what a strange man! Very kind in his way but s like wellllll weird. Since we got back from getting lost in Italy he just watches the news on TV all the time keeps muttering about some place called Pujili twelve years ago some kind of disaster there. His wife was a digger up of things - an arkeyologist or sumthin, was in a country called.. Ecuador? (I know cos Lydia sent me a link to their flag) at the time of an earthquake there in 1996 - a town called Pujili I think there was some kind of
natural disaster.. He doesn¹t know what happened to her maybe she died
maybe she just didn¹t want to come home.
But he imagines I¹m their son. which leaves me wondering who i am - except youve filled me up with jokes and cool things to do with my hair and top tips and things to say like "scudapin bleep" (what DOES that mean by the way?). Thank you my
friends and sorry if I¹m not what you thought.
Wednesday, 14 May 2008
STORIES
I was like ohhh myyy goooooooddd!! when I read these stories!!!! I felt myself filling up with stories suddenly, all my empty times filling up with incidents and accidents, I felt myself becoming someone, with all my names and memories and stuff, like I was really really.
Funny story 1
In 2004, me, my sister, my mum and dad went to visit my cousins in Arizona, America. We pulled up on the sand on the side of the road just as it started raining. Our cars wheels sank into the sand and the car got stuck. It would have been slightly easier if the back wheel that wasn't stuck in the sand was not a few inches off the ground.
Funny story 2
Back when I was really young, me and my dad went on a walk through a forest and his boot got stuck in a muddy river. He pulled so hard that his foot came out of his boot and his boot fell into the river. He picked up his boot and tipped out the water and a fish came out!
Funny story 3
My sister picked up what she though was a walky-talky and pressed the button only to find that it was a candle lighter. Her hair caught fire. It was hilarious.
- by David 6
Short story – R.I.P XBOX 360
On the 9th of April one of the most tragic thing in my life occurred, my Xbox (gaming console) broke. It was an early birthday from my uncle wish made me the happiest person alive, let alone that it was FREE! But I was left devastated that the Xbox broke one day before my birthday.
Well basically this is what happened I was having some munchies and I was making space on my desk for the plate of food, so I moved the Xbox towards the edge nearly but I never noticed it. I was playing one of the best game called halo 3, that’s what I think. Anyways when I was playing I got a bit thirsty from the non stop gaming, so I went to the desk to get the glass of drink but then it happened… I slipped and drop my Xbox on the floor leaving it in practically two pieces… I was like ohhh myyy goooooooddd!!
When I told them my tragic moment they were laughing their head off and what kind of friends are they?? They should be supporting me but instead they do the opposite! It took them like a month to get over it.
- Naeem
My story
Last time I went to some place, forgot what it was but there was some chair which was fairly weak and I sat on it and it broke. Fell through it. And my Dad just stood there laughing at me and after 5 minutes he offered to help me up. This was when I was around 10 years old.
Also once I got caught red handed and it was around 11pm, I told my mum I was going to sleep, I decided ill check something on the internet, then after a short while I heard her come out of here room. I thought “carry on she won’t come in” and miraculously she entered the room and I got the computer taken off me and had to go to sleep.
Oh yeah, once at lunchtime in school one of my mates called suhaib, put bread crumbs in my coat hood without me not noticing, I only noticed when some told me when I was on my way to class. Then I hunted him down and put it down his shirt. He never found out it was me.J
Hamza
Funny Story 2
The Stinging Nettles Incident
One day I went to the park with my friend and we were walking down the path and I saw some dog crap left there which wasn’t scooped.
So when I saw it I said to my friend,
“Watch out! Dog crap in your face!”
And then she screamed and fell right into a big bush of stinging nettles. What a shame.
THE END
- Asma
Dear boy,
my name is george and i have a funny story i would like to share with you. it all started back in the day when i was a mear 13 years of age ( it was this year).i am a freak and can juggle ,ride unicycles and do lots of things based around a circus. and erlier this year i went to the bcc 13 ( the 13th annual birmingham circus convention ) with my dad i started the day off by having a few unicycle races whick i won and then i had a game of unicycle hockey then i had a go in a game of unicycle gladiators this is when about 15 people try and push each other off their unicycles and i aws shocked to find out i was the last person on a unicycle and i had never played this game befor. au revoir.
- George
Story for the lost boy
One day I was on holiday in the south France. The first morning there I was awoken by the shattering of glass, I woke with a start, ran out into the hall to see my younger brother Ben lying on the floor. He had run through the glass doors. My mum and dad were hold cloth on his wombs to slow down the bleeding. As the French people next door came running they said nervously”we’ve rung ambulance; it’s on its way”. The ambulance arrived. Ben was excited because he was going to French hospital! As he returned home from hospital he told us all about his exciting time, he told us all about when they gave him this special gas witch he called giggling gas because when he had it he couldn’t stop giggling! He had stitches in his hand and leg so he couldn’t swim, so he was the couch! Ben was disappointed that he couldn’t swim but he had loads of fun bossing us all about.
When we got back to Birmingham ban was really looking forward to telling all his friends about his adventurous week in France! All together that was a very adventurous trip to France!
- Ella
One day I was at a friend’s house and he threw a fire ball at me. And he missed me and set light to a tree.
I constantly keep falling down the stairs for some reason!
At a school trip one of my friends did not want to get changed on the same room as the rest of us and when outside to get changed. Not long after he come running in naked and the follow him in yelling “what the hell do you think you are playing at?”
When I went horse riding one time I was quite sleepy and fell asleep on the back of a horse in the middle of the lesson. Hussar!
Once I and my dad went shopping for my mum’s birthday and we got locked in a shop for two hours unfortunately it was a jewelry shop! So there was loads of cameras and senses so we could not move around much.
- Duncan
One day I was on holiday in the south France. The first morning there I was awoken by the shattering of glass, I woke with a start, ran out into the hall to see my younger brother Ben lying on the floor. He had run through the glass doors. My mum and dad were hold cloth on his wombs to slow down the bleeding. As the French people next door came running they said nervously”we’ve rung ambulance; it’s on its way”. The ambulance arrived. Ben was excited because he was going to French hospital! As he returned home from hospital he told us all about his exciting time, he told us all about when they gave him this special gas witch he called giggling gas because when he had it he couldn’t stop giggling! He had stitches in his hand and leg so he couldn’t swim, so he was the couch!!!
My dream
My dream is about once of my dreams. Basically what happened was i was walking along the street in this dream of mine. Then this crazy old lady with really long yellow dirty fingers attacked me. She was kind of scraping my face off and I was getting really scared because I didn’t really know it was a dream. Then the crazy women duplicated her self and now there were two women attacking me and my face was kind of being destroyed. Finally I started running away but to my surprise I was caught by the crazy ladies nails and then suddenly she cut of my legs and I was just a tiny little body on the floor with a head and some arms. I saw some green magical light and then I was one of the crazy ladies, it was all quite confusing to me. ATLAST I woke up from my dream which left me slightly scared.
- Josh
One day I was at a friend’s house and he through a fire ball at me. And he missed me and set light to a tree.
I connately keep falling down the stairs for some reason!
At a school trip one of my friends did not want to get changed on the same room as the rest of us and when outside to get changed. Not long after he come running in naked and the follow him in yelling “what the hell do you think you are playing at?”
When I went horse riding one time I was quite sleepy and fell asleep on the back of a horse in the middle of the lesson. Hussar!
Once I and my dad went shopping for my mum’s birthday and we got locked in a shop for two hours unfortunately it was a jewelry shop! So there was loads of cameras and senses so we could not move around much.
Duncan
Funny Story
The Swimming Pool Incident
There was this time when me and my friend went swimming and as we were walking through the big wooden doors I said to my friend,
“I’d laugh if you fell into the swimming pool fully dressed,” and then she went,
“Never gonna happen,” so we walked on and then as the lady swiped my leisure card I walked on in and I suddenly slipped and fell in. Fully dressed.
It was so unfair in the end because my Friend walked in and started to laugh at me.
What my friend didn’t know was that I always bring an extra pair of clothes.
So even as embarrassing as it was I didn’t go home drenched. Even though my friend still takes the mickey.
THE END
fahad
show details 1:20 PM (8 hours ago)
Reply
when we went to the resedential in wales me rashidi sufyan and lamar were all in the same cabin. i was on the top bunk and rashidi was on the other side but the bottom. He wanted to sleep on the top bunk so i thought let him. i could not be bothered to come down the stairs so i wrapped myself in my duvet and rolled of the top and landed straight on my head lol.evryone in the cabin was laughin and i was there crying on the floor. lol thats te funniest thing ever.
My Brother’s £20
In the summer, me and my family went to a Christian camp site called New Wine and on our way back, we went to a BIG shopping center called Clarks Village. We all had around £20 worth of money left so I went around buying a lot of toys and chocolate with my mum and dad. About an hour after we got there my brother called my phone asking “where are you?” I said near a Cadbury shop why and he said he lost his £20 note. I told my mum and dad and we were laughing so much we were almost in tears when he found us. He borrowed £20 of my mum and dad and then he almost lost that. I kept on making fun of him because it blew straight his hand. That’s what made it so amusing. However, me and my other brother got in trouble for making fun of him too much. Overall, we stopped making fun of him after around a year. But I still laugh about it to this day.
A knife and a gang
Once when I was 8 years old, a boy went and got a ball of ours from a garden. He bike was in the pavement so I jumped over it to get across. So he said some bad things about me and rode of. We carried on playing and he came down again with a gang of people with knifes. I quickly ran inside and told my dad. He ran outside and they started to ride away. My dad stopped the main one and threatened to him that if he caught him doing that again then he might be going to the police. I think that’s what he said or he said he will beat him up. Not that sure.
My Brother’s £20
In the summer, me and my family went to a Christian camp site called New Wine and on our way back, we went to a BIG shopping center called Clarks Village. We all had around £20 worth of money left so I went around buying a lot of toys and chocolate with my mum and dad. About an hour after we got there my brother called my phone asking “where are you?” I said near a Cadbury shop why and he said he lost his £20 note. I told my mum and dad and we were laughing so much we were almost in tears when he found us. He borrowed £20 of my mum and dad and then he almost lost that. I kept on making fun of him because it blew straight his hand. That’s what made it so amusing. However, me and my other brother got in trouble for making fun of him too much. Overall, we stopped making fun of him after around a year. But I still laugh about it to this day.
- Nicholas
dear boy,
my name is jordan and this is my funny story. About one year ago my band had a gig at a music festival in moseley village, we were all very exited as this was our first gig outside of school. we all turned up early with our equipment(my freinds guitars and my bass guitar and my freinds drums). when the gig started the women introduced some violinists, we all thought that they were the only ones but there turned out to be individual artists e.g singers(solo) keyboards(solo) and so on, when my band came on the people of the audience just stared at us as if we were from space, so we began to play our first song and the audience seemed to like our punk rock noise. we all enjoyed ourselves after the first song so we carried on and as we got to the last song we carried on playing tyhe same song, the song that lasted approximatley 2 minutes 10, lasted 4 minutes. funny day for us all!!!!
after that gig we carried on performing at got a regular gig at the station pub in kings heath when we did our first gig there we got paid £15 and that was by far our best gig!!
- Jordan
wen i was in wales we wer all in a acabin. me shidi lamar n suf wer in da cabin. i was on da top bunk. rashidi wanted 2 sleep on da top bunk so i wrapped myself in my duvet nd rolled off da top nd it went booooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmm loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooolll
fahad
Funny story 1
In 2004, me, my sister, my mum and dad went to visit my cousins in Arizona, America. We pulled up on the sand on the side of the road just as it started raining. Our cars wheels sank into the sand and the car got stuck. It would have been slightly easier if the back wheel that wasn't stuck in the sand was not a few inches off the ground.
Funny story 2
Back when I was really young, me and my dad went on a walk through a forest and his boot got stuck in a muddy river. He pulled so hard that his foot came out of his boot and his boot fell into the river. He picked up his boot and tipped out the water and a fish came out!
Funny story 3
My sister picked up what she though was a walky-talky and pressed the button only to find that it was a candle lighter. Her hair caught fire. It was hilarious.
- by David 6
Short story – R.I.P XBOX 360
On the 9th of April one of the most tragic thing in my life occurred, my Xbox (gaming console) broke. It was an early birthday from my uncle wish made me the happiest person alive, let alone that it was FREE! But I was left devastated that the Xbox broke one day before my birthday.
Well basically this is what happened I was having some munchies and I was making space on my desk for the plate of food, so I moved the Xbox towards the edge nearly but I never noticed it. I was playing one of the best game called halo 3, that’s what I think. Anyways when I was playing I got a bit thirsty from the non stop gaming, so I went to the desk to get the glass of drink but then it happened… I slipped and drop my Xbox on the floor leaving it in practically two pieces… I was like ohhh myyy goooooooddd!!
When I told them my tragic moment they were laughing their head off and what kind of friends are they?? They should be supporting me but instead they do the opposite! It took them like a month to get over it.
- Naeem
My story
Last time I went to some place, forgot what it was but there was some chair which was fairly weak and I sat on it and it broke. Fell through it. And my Dad just stood there laughing at me and after 5 minutes he offered to help me up. This was when I was around 10 years old.
Also once I got caught red handed and it was around 11pm, I told my mum I was going to sleep, I decided ill check something on the internet, then after a short while I heard her come out of here room. I thought “carry on she won’t come in” and miraculously she entered the room and I got the computer taken off me and had to go to sleep.
Oh yeah, once at lunchtime in school one of my mates called suhaib, put bread crumbs in my coat hood without me not noticing, I only noticed when some told me when I was on my way to class. Then I hunted him down and put it down his shirt. He never found out it was me.J
Hamza
Funny Story 2
The Stinging Nettles Incident
One day I went to the park with my friend and we were walking down the path and I saw some dog crap left there which wasn’t scooped.
So when I saw it I said to my friend,
“Watch out! Dog crap in your face!”
And then she screamed and fell right into a big bush of stinging nettles. What a shame.
THE END
- Asma
Dear boy,
my name is george and i have a funny story i would like to share with you. it all started back in the day when i was a mear 13 years of age ( it was this year).i am a freak and can juggle ,ride unicycles and do lots of things based around a circus. and erlier this year i went to the bcc 13 ( the 13th annual birmingham circus convention ) with my dad i started the day off by having a few unicycle races whick i won and then i had a game of unicycle hockey then i had a go in a game of unicycle gladiators this is when about 15 people try and push each other off their unicycles and i aws shocked to find out i was the last person on a unicycle and i had never played this game befor. au revoir.
- George
Story for the lost boy
One day I was on holiday in the south France. The first morning there I was awoken by the shattering of glass, I woke with a start, ran out into the hall to see my younger brother Ben lying on the floor. He had run through the glass doors. My mum and dad were hold cloth on his wombs to slow down the bleeding. As the French people next door came running they said nervously”we’ve rung ambulance; it’s on its way”. The ambulance arrived. Ben was excited because he was going to French hospital! As he returned home from hospital he told us all about his exciting time, he told us all about when they gave him this special gas witch he called giggling gas because when he had it he couldn’t stop giggling! He had stitches in his hand and leg so he couldn’t swim, so he was the couch! Ben was disappointed that he couldn’t swim but he had loads of fun bossing us all about.
When we got back to Birmingham ban was really looking forward to telling all his friends about his adventurous week in France! All together that was a very adventurous trip to France!
- Ella
One day I was at a friend’s house and he threw a fire ball at me. And he missed me and set light to a tree.
I constantly keep falling down the stairs for some reason!
At a school trip one of my friends did not want to get changed on the same room as the rest of us and when outside to get changed. Not long after he come running in naked and the follow him in yelling “what the hell do you think you are playing at?”
When I went horse riding one time I was quite sleepy and fell asleep on the back of a horse in the middle of the lesson. Hussar!
Once I and my dad went shopping for my mum’s birthday and we got locked in a shop for two hours unfortunately it was a jewelry shop! So there was loads of cameras and senses so we could not move around much.
- Duncan
One day I was on holiday in the south France. The first morning there I was awoken by the shattering of glass, I woke with a start, ran out into the hall to see my younger brother Ben lying on the floor. He had run through the glass doors. My mum and dad were hold cloth on his wombs to slow down the bleeding. As the French people next door came running they said nervously”we’ve rung ambulance; it’s on its way”. The ambulance arrived. Ben was excited because he was going to French hospital! As he returned home from hospital he told us all about his exciting time, he told us all about when they gave him this special gas witch he called giggling gas because when he had it he couldn’t stop giggling! He had stitches in his hand and leg so he couldn’t swim, so he was the couch!!!
My dream
My dream is about once of my dreams. Basically what happened was i was walking along the street in this dream of mine. Then this crazy old lady with really long yellow dirty fingers attacked me. She was kind of scraping my face off and I was getting really scared because I didn’t really know it was a dream. Then the crazy women duplicated her self and now there were two women attacking me and my face was kind of being destroyed. Finally I started running away but to my surprise I was caught by the crazy ladies nails and then suddenly she cut of my legs and I was just a tiny little body on the floor with a head and some arms. I saw some green magical light and then I was one of the crazy ladies, it was all quite confusing to me. ATLAST I woke up from my dream which left me slightly scared.
- Josh
One day I was at a friend’s house and he through a fire ball at me. And he missed me and set light to a tree.
I connately keep falling down the stairs for some reason!
At a school trip one of my friends did not want to get changed on the same room as the rest of us and when outside to get changed. Not long after he come running in naked and the follow him in yelling “what the hell do you think you are playing at?”
When I went horse riding one time I was quite sleepy and fell asleep on the back of a horse in the middle of the lesson. Hussar!
Once I and my dad went shopping for my mum’s birthday and we got locked in a shop for two hours unfortunately it was a jewelry shop! So there was loads of cameras and senses so we could not move around much.
Duncan
Funny Story
The Swimming Pool Incident
There was this time when me and my friend went swimming and as we were walking through the big wooden doors I said to my friend,
“I’d laugh if you fell into the swimming pool fully dressed,” and then she went,
“Never gonna happen,” so we walked on and then as the lady swiped my leisure card I walked on in and I suddenly slipped and fell in. Fully dressed.
It was so unfair in the end because my Friend walked in and started to laugh at me.
What my friend didn’t know was that I always bring an extra pair of clothes.
So even as embarrassing as it was I didn’t go home drenched. Even though my friend still takes the mickey.
THE END
fahad
show details 1:20 PM (8 hours ago)
Reply
when we went to the resedential in wales me rashidi sufyan and lamar were all in the same cabin. i was on the top bunk and rashidi was on the other side but the bottom. He wanted to sleep on the top bunk so i thought let him. i could not be bothered to come down the stairs so i wrapped myself in my duvet and rolled of the top and landed straight on my head lol.evryone in the cabin was laughin and i was there crying on the floor. lol thats te funniest thing ever.
My Brother’s £20
In the summer, me and my family went to a Christian camp site called New Wine and on our way back, we went to a BIG shopping center called Clarks Village. We all had around £20 worth of money left so I went around buying a lot of toys and chocolate with my mum and dad. About an hour after we got there my brother called my phone asking “where are you?” I said near a Cadbury shop why and he said he lost his £20 note. I told my mum and dad and we were laughing so much we were almost in tears when he found us. He borrowed £20 of my mum and dad and then he almost lost that. I kept on making fun of him because it blew straight his hand. That’s what made it so amusing. However, me and my other brother got in trouble for making fun of him too much. Overall, we stopped making fun of him after around a year. But I still laugh about it to this day.
A knife and a gang
Once when I was 8 years old, a boy went and got a ball of ours from a garden. He bike was in the pavement so I jumped over it to get across. So he said some bad things about me and rode of. We carried on playing and he came down again with a gang of people with knifes. I quickly ran inside and told my dad. He ran outside and they started to ride away. My dad stopped the main one and threatened to him that if he caught him doing that again then he might be going to the police. I think that’s what he said or he said he will beat him up. Not that sure.
My Brother’s £20
In the summer, me and my family went to a Christian camp site called New Wine and on our way back, we went to a BIG shopping center called Clarks Village. We all had around £20 worth of money left so I went around buying a lot of toys and chocolate with my mum and dad. About an hour after we got there my brother called my phone asking “where are you?” I said near a Cadbury shop why and he said he lost his £20 note. I told my mum and dad and we were laughing so much we were almost in tears when he found us. He borrowed £20 of my mum and dad and then he almost lost that. I kept on making fun of him because it blew straight his hand. That’s what made it so amusing. However, me and my other brother got in trouble for making fun of him too much. Overall, we stopped making fun of him after around a year. But I still laugh about it to this day.
- Nicholas
dear boy,
my name is jordan and this is my funny story. About one year ago my band had a gig at a music festival in moseley village, we were all very exited as this was our first gig outside of school. we all turned up early with our equipment(my freinds guitars and my bass guitar and my freinds drums). when the gig started the women introduced some violinists, we all thought that they were the only ones but there turned out to be individual artists e.g singers(solo) keyboards(solo) and so on, when my band came on the people of the audience just stared at us as if we were from space, so we began to play our first song and the audience seemed to like our punk rock noise. we all enjoyed ourselves after the first song so we carried on and as we got to the last song we carried on playing tyhe same song, the song that lasted approximatley 2 minutes 10, lasted 4 minutes. funny day for us all!!!!
after that gig we carried on performing at got a regular gig at the station pub in kings heath when we did our first gig there we got paid £15 and that was by far our best gig!!
- Jordan
wen i was in wales we wer all in a acabin. me shidi lamar n suf wer in da cabin. i was on da top bunk. rashidi wanted 2 sleep on da top bunk so i wrapped myself in my duvet nd rolled off da top nd it went booooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmm loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooolll
fahad
Friday, 9 May 2008
More funny stories please
Why did the three-legged dinosaur on a tuesday cross the playground with a talking sausage? I wish I knew heeheehee lol rofl!?!
Your jokes made me and Tobias roll about larfing and larfing. More to make us laugh please. Any funny things happened to you? Stories from your real lives? Sad things maybe but I want FUN too !
Your jokes made me and Tobias roll about larfing and larfing. More to make us laugh please. Any funny things happened to you? Stories from your real lives? Sad things maybe but I want FUN too !
Thursday, 8 May 2008
Memories tips advice stories
Where was I born? Do I have family? O i have forgotten completely but i feel it was somewhere as warm as your friendliness. I feel i was born here now.
My hair is good now Tobias has bought me products and a mirror I style it lots now thanks. And thanks for your advice, like: "the times go really fast. emotions really count. its a part of life." Yes - I told Tobias its up to me to feel happy or sad, no-one's gonna tell ME what to feel!
Please tell ME stories about a time when you felt good about YOURSELF. How it felt inside??
More TOP TIPS on how to be 12 would be SO HELPFUL
My hair is good now Tobias has bought me products and a mirror I style it lots now thanks. And thanks for your advice, like: "the times go really fast. emotions really count. its a part of life." Yes - I told Tobias its up to me to feel happy or sad, no-one's gonna tell ME what to feel!
Please tell ME stories about a time when you felt good about YOURSELF. How it felt inside??
More TOP TIPS on how to be 12 would be SO HELPFUL
Tuesday, 6 May 2008
A message from Tobias
The boy has begun to understand what its really like to sound like a twelve year old. For so long he has only lived in the imagination. It is remarkable how quickly he is adapting himself to this new way of communicating.
Please send us jokes, stories, thoughts and tips on being 12.
Thank you to our Queensbridge Colleagues!
Yours
Tobias
HOW IT BEGAN

Mr Tim Boyes,
Headteacher,
Queensbridge School.
Queensbridge Road,
Birmingham
10th April 2008
Dear Tim,
Following our informal discussion when we met the other night at the Sailing Club, I am writing with a somewhat strange request.
As you know I am a consultant researching into child behaviour in exceptional situations.
The Institute has recently taken into its care a young boy, found wandering alone in the basement of a large, empty Victorian house in the West Midlands. The boy does not speak however it now seems that he does appear to be able to read and write. Last Sunday morning we briefly left him alone in the canteen, and when we returned found that he had written the attached on a sheet of paper. So it appears he is literate, and what’s more has a large vocabulary, although what he wrote makes no clear sense.
I'm afraid that under Child Protection Legislation I am unable to describe him to you physically, but I can say that he is clearly distressed. From what the boy has written we’re led to believe he might gain from controlled contact with a group of students of his own age which we estimate to be around 12 years old. An analysis of the demographic of your school would suggest that you could possibly provide us with access to young people of this approximate age with a wide range of backgrounds and experiences – ideal for our researches.
I am hoping you will be prepared to join us in an experiment to help us build up a picture of what it is to a young person of this age, and to interact with the found boy in the hope that this will help us to find out more about him and help him to regain if not his memory then at least his sense of self.
If this acceptable to you, I would ask you to pass onto a class of Year 8 students (11-13 years old) the attached questionnaire which we hope will give us some initial guidance in what might trigger a response in the boy.
Finally I’m sure you will understand the importance of maintaining confidentiality in this matter as media intrusion at this juncture could be injurious to this young man’s recovery.
Yours sincerely,
Dr Tobias C. Meade-Jones
Executive Consultant
****
Writing by the boy, Sunday 6th April 2008:
" today very Puzzled and bewildered have no idea after the painful break-up no idea however would improve with teaching conditions apply the number of school children 'alarmed' 'alarmed' my name is Observer with teaching among youngsters encourage in an attempt to reverse comply or joe die escape military and speedy free inside a dream a pipe dream bringing it all together rebuilding and reconstructing"
****
HAUSER INSTITUTE
RESEARCH QUESTIONAIRRE
First name:
Date of birth:
PLEASE SUBMIT the following responses for SUBJECTIVE DATA ANALYSIS
1) 5 expressions you use a lot:
2) Your favourite TV programme:
website:
book:
radio station
music
3) Describe yourself: your appearance, interests and home as you would to someone your own age who you had just met
4) Describe your favourite taste
Thank you for your assistance with our researches. This information could be invaluable in helping us to establish better communications with the patient.
Please return to hauserinstitute@gmail.com. Please type ‘LB/B4’ in the subject line
20th April 2008
c/o Tim Boyes,
Headteacher,
Queensbridge School
Queensbridge Road
Birmingham
B13 8QB
Dear Colleagues,
Thank you so much for what I gather was your enthusiastic response to our work here at the Institute. I understand that your participation may be a confusing proposition indeed at times I myself have been confused by what we are doing , very confused.
Your initial questions are very appropriate and confirm my suspicion that you are the perfect group with which to work. I hope that the questionnaires that I supplied will give me a clearer idea of who you are.
Now that I am more certain of your participation I can give you a better idea of the specific scene that greeted me when the foundling was discovered.
The police and social services had already informed me that a boy had been discovered living alone in the basement of a large Victorian house in the West Midlands.
On first inspection the boy appeared to be approximately twelve years old, with dark hair and light brown skin. The boy was almost entirely silent save a few grunts, sighs and inarticulate murmurs. He appeared to have been living alone in the house for a long time, months if not years. His nails were abnormally long to the point of curling back in on themselves. However he was reasonably clean with long hair down past his shoulders. As I mentioned in my introductory letter the boy is able to write and read which he does with great enthusiasm and insistence. The text is full of urgency and has a desperate quality that I find hard to get out of my own head.
I attach a short text found in the boy’s room one morning, written quite neatly in a notebook we had provided for him.
The house itself was a typical family house, idyllic. No, it was not derelict but the upstairs had been abandoned. Various photos remained on the walls. Some of the photos were of a couple who appeared to love each other very much. A quick inspection of the property revealed the house to be the home of a happy, loving family. There was an unlit fire prepared in the fireplace. But we are not concerned with them here. My business, our business is “forgetting, recollection and identity loss”.
As I mentioned earlier I think, it will not be possible to meet the boy under the laws of Child Protection however together we can re-create him. He is lost, disorientated and vulnerable. At the same time he is highly receptive to the stimulation of reading, writing and role play. I hope that together we can give him that sense of himself, of “ being twelve” (or thereabouts) that he seems to have lost. I do believe he has been loved by his parents and indeed they must have equipped him with great survival skills for him to have endured as long as he did.
Thank you for your co operation in completing the tasks we have provided. I hope the examples of writing we have included will intrigue and stimulate you. I look forward to collating your responses to the questionnaire etc.
Again thank you. You are helping me more than you can possibly imagine.
Yours
Tobias
******

BEING MY AGE
FROM THE BOY
Yo friends wassup thank you
i think i like talking with my friends like you
I dunno about chocolate or chipshop chips or rollerblading or.. soooo much more
i wish i could have mother fATHER
oh well I WANt to see
so much
thanks for asking
"You ok?"
SO i dont know nothing
need you to fill me up with telling how it IS to be
my age,
I feel like I know you like i'm one of you
Thanks
I need you to tell me: what makes me laugh and cry
what I am feeling
I don;t know
please will you tell me stories
of where I might come from
Tobias helps me make this
blog
where its
easier than talking and you can add:
more comments, ideas for links of things
what i might DO with my life, might LIKe
IMAGINING me will help me BECOME
Oh my days!
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